Our latest Public Newsroom offered strategies for leading productive conversations about politics with our loved ones.

By Ellie Mejía

(Illustration: Ellie Mejía)

(Illustration: Ellie Mejía)

Talking about politics with our loved ones can be challenging. But with intention and strategy, these conversations can offer opportunities for mutual growth, learning and action.  

Knowing there would be plenty to discuss before and after Election Day, City Bureau wanted to provide some guidance on how to tackle these conversations. We were glad to have Pilsen Alliance Youth Committee and Chicago Desi Youth Rising as hosts for our October 29 Public Newsroom. Both organizations were involved in the #CopsOutCPS campaign this summer, and in August they co-organized an action demanding that Chicago Board of Education member Sendhil Revuluri vote to remove police presence from schools. To aid their broader efforts, CDYR hosted a virtual teach-in, breaking down the Black Lives Matter movement for South Asian elders. 

Several young organizers joined us to tell us about their experiences and share their advice on facilitating constructive dialogues, including Ariana Guzman and Karla De Jesus of the Pilsen Alliance Youth Committee and Ashwini Deshpande, Rani Gordon and Sabrina Wilson of CDYR. Let’s take a look at the tips they offered: 

1. Set goals ahead of time.

Before opening up a dialogue, ask yourself what you want to accomplish. Do you want your interlocutor to vote a certain way next election cycle or join you in a protest? Or do you want them to change their mind about a specific policy? Tweak these goals as you consider your relationship to this loved one, as well as their personality, views and needs. “One thing I think is really important is… knowing your audience and deciding what your goals are based on who you’re talking to,” says CDYR’s Rani Gordon. If you come in with too ambitious a goal, says Gordon, “you’re probably going to be… discouraged from having more conversations. And that’s not what you want, you want to push forward.” 

2. “It’s going to take time.” 

If you’re looking to change someone’s position on an issue, one chat probably won’t cut it. “It’s going to take time. People are going to want to push back and not see your point of view right away,” says Gordon. Despite this, Ariana Guzman of the Pilsen Alliance Youth Committee still advises that we “keep bringing these conversations to the table. Keep making your family members uncomfortable.” She says, “Establish… that you should actively listen to one another, ask each other questions.” Doing so erodes the taboo of talking about politics and encourages your loved ones to initiate these conversations. Gordon agrees, “Have these conversations casually and regularly so it’s not such a big thing. That takes some of the pressure off.” 

3. Find common ground, but be clear when you disagree.

Conversations rooted in argument will likely be unproductive. Instead, convey that you are invested in learning together. Find something that you and your loved one can agree on. “People do have different opinions, and things will not sit well with some people, but try to find common ground,” advises Ashwini Deshpande of CDYR. “If you don’t agree on every little thing, you can agree on intentions.” For example, most people agree they want their communities to be safe, even if they disagree on whether the police make those communities more or less safe. At the same time, make sure you point out when your opinions differ. Ignoring a comment you disagree with may give your loved one the impression you tacitly endorse that view, and deprives you both of the opportunity to talk through and understand why you disagree. 

4. Offer concrete examples.

Talking about issues in a big-picture way makes it difficult to understand how they might materially affect you and your loved ones. By providing tangible examples, you reduce that cognitive dissonance. Try bringing an issue back to a personal shared experience. Karla De Jesus of the Pilsen Alliance Youth Committee says that sharing examples of “when police have criminalized us, or criminalized folks that we know and love” helped her explain to her mother why she supports defunding the police. As Sabrina Wilson of CDYR reminds us, “the reason that you’re having these conversations is because they affect everyone.”

Or, if you want to dispel misinformation or lend credibility to your viewpoint, “remaining grounded in facts and data, if you have them, will go a long way,” shares Deshpande, who adds that sticking to facts can keep both people in the conversation from getting “swayed by emotion.” 

5. Encourage expansive thinking. 

Sometimes people favor existing systems because they are familiar, even if they cause harm. Encourage your loved one to imagine a better future, and let them know that it’s OK if neither of you know every step to get there. De Jesus shares that to stretch her mother’s imagination about the future of safety and policing, she asks, “Would [we have been criminalized] if there was money put into mental health resources? Would young people have to pick up guns if we had the things that folks on the North Side have?” She explains further, “[I let] her know this isn’t right and it doesn’t have to be this way. I always tell her we don’t know what we need to not need police officers. We don’t know what that world looks like.”

Not quite ready to lead your own conversations? Scroll down for more readings, resources and a video recording of the Public Newsroom. Plus, check out our “toolbox” for additional tips and tactics or add your own. 

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